Pro-Am Race

When I was a sailor and living on my boat, my yacht club sponsored a pro-am race several times a year. This meant that the amateurs and professionals competed together, an equitable arrangement, and loads of fun.

Today, years after leaving the womb of my boat, I think I am a pro-am combination. Oh, I don’t race anymore, but I live a life of both a professional and an amateur.

Professionally, I have a high profile position and I am highly degreed. One would never ever guess there is an amateur that lies beneath the surface, just popping her head out from time to time.

What does that mean?

Well, I’m not sure, except that I am both a professional woman and a woman who has serious sexual fantasies that occasionally are acted out. Even while I am in my pro role, my thoughts are buzzing around what could be done sexually in almost every situation I encounter. It’s not that I have two facets to my personality, because there is really only one personality.

I’m not sure if that makes sense to anyone else, but who I am sexually is tightly wound up in who I am professionally. There is no other way to put it, although I might say it comes close to being the oriental concept of “body/mind/spirit” connection – and maybe that’s what it is, after all.

One part of me cannot be dissected out from the rest of me. Perhaps even my pro role would be vastly different if the sexual role were taken out. Both roles are seen through the same set of eyes – and acted out by the same body.

For some reason, I think this may be easier for the male gender of our species, but I’m not sure. Probably the men in our spanko-community can enlighten me. Still, as a woman, I think I am expected to stay in one role or the other by the general public.

But women have always had to cover multiple roles, haven’t we? I’ve been all of those roles, still many of them, and I’m proud of every single one.

PW – A feminist who chooses to submit.