A Holiday Gift for Myself

For the longest time, I have been reading every blog about spanking I could find. As I read each one, I think “That’s exactly what I’m feeling/going through/wanting.” I decided to give myself the gift of telling my own story this holiday season.

If anyone discovers this blog, I hope you enjoy it. Please make comments and take part in any discussions I offer. This isn't meant to be a “spectator sport,” but a place where all spankees and spankers can offer their opinions and share stories.

A lot of what I write here will be real – something that actually happened to me. Some of it will be fantasy – stories I’ve written in order to scratch that itch. And some will be a combination of reality and fantasy – those times when the reality began as a fantasy (or vice versa) and ended up as something quite different.

Someday I will tell a story of how and when I came to realize my need for spanking. This time, I intend to start with the “now” of my life.

Currently, I am involved in a long distance relationship with a man who is legally committed to another. Even though it is merely a legal and financial arrangement, it still keeps us from being together permanently.

Sometimes I wonder if the relationship isn’t better the way it is, with visits only every two to three weeks? There are many pros to that, but the cons do get to me.

I don’t think he’s entirely comfortable in being my HOH. He’s been a “yes, dear” man for too long, and it pisses me off every time he says that to me. I do not want that. I want to be “taken in hand,” even though I am and always have been an ardent feminist (good topic for another blog).

Does he spank me? Oh, yes! And he does a wonderful job. At this point, however, I think it is nothing more than a unique form of foreplay for him. It is that for me, as well, but I also want it for much more than that. It’s a strange middle of the road sentiment.

If I am ever brave enough to share this blog with my lover, he will discover what I need from him. Let me say first that I want his unencumbered presence. After being his for almost four years, he still is all I want for Christmas, and all those Christmases I must spend without him being close enough to touch.

Purple Woman - Submissive by choice