Lovely Lust

This morning, the lust is heavy in my body for the man I love. It is so heavy that I sit here moaning, needing relief.

In the past, I quickly grew tired of the men I was with, and the excitement never lasted past the one year mark, if it even lasted that long. Probably my boredom came from the lack of the spanking I didn’t know my body was craving. I was always looking for that “something more.”

And now, I have been in a relationship with this man for four years and I still get extremely randy just thinking about him, chatting with him online, planning for his visits. Still the throbbing in my vagina is not only for his penis.

What I want is to be over his lap, skirt up and panties down, trembling for the touch of his hand. It is such a simple act, a simple posture, a simple thought, yet I can hardly sit still as I write this. Those who have an established Domestic Discipline relationship might laugh at my innocence and the simplicity of what I desire. Or they may remember when they were just starting out in that lifestyle.

I know that most women who crave spanking discipline experience the same feelings of love/hate for the pain. When I’m ready for him to stop, and he does, I’m sorry that he didn’t continue beyond the point where I thought I couldn’t take it any longer.

Maybe if the spanking he gives is truly for discipline or punishment for something I have done or not done, he would continue. But at this stage of his ability, he doesn’t want to hurt me, and if I tell him I’ve had enough, he takes me at my word.

A “real” spanking that is for discipline would go on until he felt he had accomplished his purpose, not just because I asked him to quit.

I’m not the only woman who doesn’t cry when spanked. It never gets that far. Why does crying seem to be so important to me? I think it’s because it would signify that I had been taken beyond my own threshold of pain, that he had ultimately been in control.

There have been times when he would tell me to dress appropriately, then bend over the couch and be ready for when he comes in. I do that, but I know he has not meant it in a disciplinary way, even as he tries to sound stern, but as a prelude to sex, so I can’t seem to get into it.

He does a beautiful warm-up, but I don’t want a warm-up. I want the real thing. I want to be grabbed and pulled over his lap and given a hard, fast spanking that really hurts.

Or do I?

Purple Woman - “He who loves much beats hard.” (Polish proverb)